7 Simple Ways to Live a Softer Life This Fall: Embracing Slowness and Stillness
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fast-paced nature of life and how to escape it. The world around me feels like a busy highway sometimes, and lately I’ve been longing for a peaceful country road. A few weeks ago, my husband and I visited some friends who live in a small town in Oregon and this got me thinking of all the differences between small town and big city life.
One of the biggest distinctions, I think, is that life in a small town is by design softer and slower. That’s not to say you can’t create softness and slowness regardless of where you are, but it requires more intentionality.
Fall is also the perfect season to practice leaning into softness because it’s all about the gentle shift from summer into winter, cozy sweaters, warm tea, leaves changing and tumbling to the ground. The sunlight falls differently as we move into the final months of the year, and I think we should try to embrace that transition.
This is by no means a complete list, but here are 7 ways I’m trying to live softly this fall.
- Practice gratitude.
Gratitude is a muscle and the more we think about what we’re grateful for, the easier it becomes to feel grateful. Even as I write this, I’m aware that I’ve let my gratitude practice fall to the wayside, especially in this new season of life I’ve been learning to lean into. One of the easiest ways to practice gratitude is by counting what’s good in your life. Aim for three a day and do it until you get to one thousand. I’ll commit to the challenge with you!
- Complain less.
We see what we focus on. In a room full of beautiful artwork, if I focus on the scuffed floorboards that is all I’ll remember. I complain constantly, and I can see how this habit affects my mood and even the happiness of those around me. Cutting down on complaints isn’t about pretending to be happy all the time or ignoring feelings of genuine anger and sadness. Emotions need air. But sometimes we fixate on small problems that don’t really matter. If life feels especially frustrating, try going an hour without complaining (or even a day) and see if it lifts your mood.
- Make time for introspection.
I love fall and winter (winter is my favorite season) because the early nights and dropping temperatures feel inherently introspective. Something about the visible transition of seasons makes me think about the impermanence of life and our own fragility. Try to find moments of the day where you sit in your thoughts. Write down the ones that resonate with you. I journal, but I also collect thoughts I like on a Notes page in my phone. Sit in your own unique perspective.
- Enjoy silence.
I am a YouTube girly and I love a good podcast. I also make a fall playlist every year that I love jamming out to on car rides. But sometimes we fill our heads with so much noise that there’s no space for our thoughts. For me, it comes from a fear of boredom and “unproductivity.” YouTube is “educational” and so I’m doing something good for my brain, or so I tell myself. But sometimes the best thing we can do for our brain is let it rest. When was the last time you turned it all off? Fold laundry without a soundtrack, wash dishes and listen to the water, let your thoughts reign supreme.
- Cook more meals at home.
Even though cooking at home requires more effort in some ways than dining out, there’s something peacefully therapeutic about cooking your own meals. You don’t have to deal with traffic, parking, or waiting in lines. You make exactly what you want exactly how you want it, and you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your home. Since becoming a stay at home mom, cooking has become more and more of a passion. I recently made my own version of the discontinued McDonald’s Snack Wrap. Living a soft life necessitates working with our hands, and cooking is my favorite way to do that.
- Spend time outside.
Watching the sun move through the sky, feeling the changing temperatures as the day lengthens and then draws to a close, all of these little indicators draw us into the passage of time. When we spend the whole day indoors, away from sunlight, it can pull us away from the present moment. Living a soft life means living in the present, and stepping outside gives us a greater awareness.
- Consume good media.
I recently deleted Instagram. It was consuming too much of my time and attention, and it was also a source of comparison. It’s important to discern for ourselves what kind of media lifts us up and what tears us apart. For some, Instagram is a source of social connection and inspiration. It has been that for me in the past, but in this season it has only really stoked insecurity. Good media in my life includes uplifting YouTube content, slow-paced peaceful shows like Little House on the Prairie, thought-provoking movies, and well-written books.
What does living softly mean to you? How are you trying to lean into slowness and gentleness this fall? I hope the list above gives you some ideas.
Verily,
Kyrie
